Ello ello.

I really like working at the bank, everyone is super nice to me. I mean, it's an obvious statement, but it's way better at Market Basket. I'm promised 25 hours (minimum!) a week there, and with the 18-20 I get at MB, I'll be making about $1600 a month, just for the summer. With the way I've budgeted, I'll be paying down debts and still have $50 a week to spend for fun, if I so wish :-D

At the bank, I finished my book training, in one day. I was pretty excited, and I passed my Bank Secrecy Act test, so I can handle money now. Annnnnd I get to go to orientation on Monday. It's in Bedford, NH and it's at 9am, but at least I get fed! I also need to pass my banking exam so I can be a full fledged teller, they are looking at maybe next week to get that done for me.

So, my hours for this week and next:

June 28 - July 4

Sun: 12-4 MB

Mon: 9:30 - 2:30 TD

6 - 9:30 MB

Tues: 9 - 2 TD

Wed: 9 - 2 TD

6 - 9:30 MB

Thu: 6 - 9:30 MB

Fri: 9 - 2 TD

Sat: 12 - 4 MB (time and a hallffffff)

July 5 - July 11 (don't have my bank schedule yet, will edit soon)

Sun: 4 to 7:45

Mon: 6 to 9:30

Tues: 6 to 9:30

Wed: 6 to 9:30

Fri: 6 to 9:30

Sat: 5 to 9:30

I had to ask for all closing shifts because I had to leave the days open for the bank, but either way...

I don't really mind working two jobs (of course I just started). I have some time during the middle of the day for myself to get errands done, and this crazy schedule is just for the summer, until school. Not much time for the gym, but that's okay, because....

... I'm still losing weight! My stomach has definitely shrunk considerably. Garrette (who is an amazing friend, definitely) and I went to the Lo Kai, a Chinese buffet as tradition dictates. However, tradition was broken when I couldn't eat my 2nd plate of food and I had no room for ice cream! Garrette and I ALWAYS got 2 plates of food and got soft serve ice cream! I'm so pumped :-)

I'm still having nightmares and still sleeping erratically, but things are looking up. Not sure where things are going or what's going on always, because it always seems to be changing, but I got what I needed to handle things better. We'll see what happens, good or bad, I'll still be me.

Can I just say how much I love having a car? It's seriously therapy for me. Anytime I'm upset, I just go for a drive (lately it's been up the highway to Hudson, then backroads home) and when I come home, I'm in such a better mood and a better state of mind. On the roads at night, you can really find yourself and figure yourself out because there isn't much else on the road except you and your thoughts. It's nice.

I don't recommend driving up the Everett Turnpike though, the other night I only had 50 cents available easily and I didn't expect to hit tolls so soon, so I ended up having to park my car at the toll booth and find that last quarter (it was late at night, exact change only). Since I didn't park close enough to the money thing, I had to get out of my car and put the money in. Hahahah, I'm an idiot, but thankfully no one else was on the road. Maybe I should look into those EZ Passes :-P

Since I took a nap, I'm not tired, but I should get ready for bed. Goodnight everyone <3

Nightmare after nightmare, this is just awful. Just really awful.

Testing from my phone

Today was such a hard day... I worked 12-close, and I was depressed all day.

Ugh. I hate breakups. And I hate that I miss him so much when it's clear he doesn't even miss me. It's like why am I not stronger?

All I want for him is to be happy... I have no choice :-(

Juuuust got off of the phone from my new job, TDBanknorth.

I start Monday morning at 9:30am! So excited :-)

I hate when you have nightmares so realistic that you can't shake them...

...I hope this one never comes true, I literally threw up at the idea.

:-(

RIP Lily

My life always has a way of turning itself upside down.

A few hours after posting about how I wouldn't be putting Lily down because the quality of her life will be okay, she had another seizure.

This time, I held her close so she wouldn't hurt herself banging around her cage. I held her too long I guess, because she freaked out, jumped out of my hands multiple times, biting my thumbs very, very deeply. Bleeding copiously all over the house, I was trying to capture her in a fabric bag so that she wouldn't get lost/eaten by Spike. My poor dad could only watch as he can barely move because of his back...

... Lily has not been moving right since I put her back in her cage. I think she broke one of her legs.

My appointment to put her to sleep is at 4:30pm. She'll be buried, hopefully, next to her sister at Corey's mom's house.

Lily, My One and Only

So I'm just hanging out with my lil degu Lily. In a lot of ways, I'm glad I didn't find a new home for her, she's so cute to watch! This morning she crawled right into my hands so I brought her up to my bed and she's just crawling around in my blankets snuggling up. I love my little rodent :-)

I really do worry about her, a lot. A couple days ago I saw that she had an incredibly serious seizure and I thought she was going to die. She's okay now, just have to keep an eye on her. She is expensive to take care of, because she's an exotic pet, but I really think I should try and focus on giving her the best life she can get, for as long as she can get. She's worth it and I feel awful for thinking otherwise.

Her sister, Daisy, died two years ago because of diabetes complications. So far, I don't see any diabetes problems in Lily, but the seizure (I wasn't around much so this may have not been her first one) worries me.

My poor dad has his back out, right now I'm waiting around to pick up his meds for him, he needs muscle relaxants. I'm really fortunate I didn't inherit the Robbin backproblem....

Picturessss

I had a whole bunch from my recent Boston trips as well as San Francisco, but I'm lazy and if you're my friend on Facebook you get to see them anyway.

So this was definitely a moment I was glad I bring my camera everywhere with me. The Spaghettiville bridge is a very low bridge, and a trash truck got stuck :-). It definitely made my day!

As almost like a form of therapy, I visited Rockport twice in 24 hours. Expensive on the gas tank, but I was basically saying goodbye to my favorite place in the whole world. It really helped :-)

Frankie, my co-pilot. And my bars in case I got hungry because I was broke and didn't want to buy lunch :-P. Did I mention I lost four pounds in 10 days by the way?

Boats.

On rainy, rainy days, I always make sure to wear the proper footwear. In this case, flats are always weather resistant, right?

<3

Beaches

So yeah, I'm going to definitely make a huge effort to update this more often. Before I was just so terribly depressed, you could barely get me to do anything, much less update. Luckily for me, things are really turning around, and I'm surrounding myself with people who honestly care about me and appreciate me, so I actually feel good about myself again. It's been wonderful to just not cry and smile and laugh and WANT to get up in the morning.

Life is good, and with the way things are going, they will only get better for me. I am very blessed :-)

I have so much to do tomorrow, I need to clean up my room some more (believe me when I say it's been a VERY slow process) and go to the gym... And then work. I look forward to working my two jobs so I can actually save money. How wonderful :-)

So Excited!

Okay, so to start off, I'm getting this phone by 3pm:

http://reviews.cnet.com/cell-phones/lg-env-touch-verizon/4505-6454_7-33665903.html

It's the LG enV Touch, and if you click on the link above you'll see it has an amazing review and it's going to be mine :-) :-) :-). The Goobermaphone is happily going to be gone, thank goodness! Time to move on to bigger and better things!

I had a wonderful day today with my friend Jess... We went to Parlee Farms for some strawberry picking, saw Transformers II at Chunky's, AND went to a Spinners game. Some pictures for your visual enjoyment:

One of my favorites of myself :-)

Cutie pieeee

Don't they look absolutely delicious? Way better than the icky strawberries you get at the grocery store.

My bear, Frankie, is my co-pilot in my Ford Focus. To me, he's my good luck charm who'll keep me safe from accidents. Don't judge me, it's obvous Jess doesn't :-P

I'm seriously obsessed with all things buffalo.

Cute, then wait for it, wait for it...

Hahaha not so cute :-)

Cute again.

It was a really good day for strawberry picking, very few people were there, and it was only misting enough to frizz our hair but keep the bugs away. So many yummy strawberries to eat, can't wait :-)

Transformers II was a great movie and I highly recommend seeing it. Warning, it is very long. Like 2 and a half hours. But it's good, and worth the time.

The Spinners game was a blast. It was an absolutely embarassing loss (3-0, with 5 errors on the Spinners part) but it's the beginning of the season and hey, it's a super minor league baseball team. Jess and I were giggling the entire time though.

I love hanging out with her, we both can be complete idiots around each other. Examples:

- I promised her I wouldn't tell people why I call her "Little C", but believe me it's absolutely hilarious.

- We were driving down to Chunky's in Pelham, and we were discussing gas tanks and where people fill theirs up, like which side. I was curious about where the Toyota's was located. So I attempt to stick my head out of the window at a red light. The window was up. I'm amazing, I know.

- When trying to take a picture of herself at the Spinners game, we get this gem:

Jess happily posed for her picture, but did not realize that the camera was backwards

<3

Today was a really good day, and with the friends I have, who I can happily yammer to about the mundane stuff in my life and see as often as I'd like, I'll be just fine :-)

Picture post is coming up next! I know you're excited that I'm actually updating for once. Or thrice. Or something.

Everything has changed.

I'm single now, and living with my dad again. Please, just for now, don't ask any questions just yet, I'm not ready for them. Still healing, and there's a lot of healing to do... I just really miss the family I built over these past almost 4 years, and I hope they know I love them dearly...

Now for some good.

I have a car now, I named her Lucy. 2004 Ford Focus (click for big):

I also got a new job, start on the 29th of June. At TDBanknorth, as a teller. That'll be my primary job while I get some extra money from Market Basket.

I got all Bs and Cs except for one A in my lab. Pretty good for seven classes. I wish I had taken on less, but now I know to just enjoy life and not let the pressures of life have you make rushed decisions. I just want to enjoy being a college student for now, I'm only 22.

I have amazing friends who, over the past few months, have only become more and more amazing. I don't have a best friend, nor do I want to have one, I'm just grateful to them all for their wonderful support through everything. I love them so, so, so very much.

At this point, I'm not really sure of what else to say, as this is just an update post. I'll update with more fun stuff soon, I have a lot of funny pictures and experiences to share :-)

I'll be okay, this is a new chapter in my life. Not one I ever wanted to see, but who really wants a life where everything is planned out and you know how it's going to end?

So much has happened, sorry about the lack of updates. I'll update by the end of next week, promise.