Picturessss

I had a whole bunch from my recent Boston trips as well as San Francisco, but I'm lazy and if you're my friend on Facebook you get to see them anyway.

So this was definitely a moment I was glad I bring my camera everywhere with me. The Spaghettiville bridge is a very low bridge, and a trash truck got stuck :-). It definitely made my day!

As almost like a form of therapy, I visited Rockport twice in 24 hours. Expensive on the gas tank, but I was basically saying goodbye to my favorite place in the whole world. It really helped :-)

Frankie, my co-pilot. And my bars in case I got hungry because I was broke and didn't want to buy lunch :-P. Did I mention I lost four pounds in 10 days by the way?

Boats.

On rainy, rainy days, I always make sure to wear the proper footwear. In this case, flats are always weather resistant, right?

<3

Beaches

So yeah, I'm going to definitely make a huge effort to update this more often. Before I was just so terribly depressed, you could barely get me to do anything, much less update. Luckily for me, things are really turning around, and I'm surrounding myself with people who honestly care about me and appreciate me, so I actually feel good about myself again. It's been wonderful to just not cry and smile and laugh and WANT to get up in the morning.

Life is good, and with the way things are going, they will only get better for me. I am very blessed :-)

I have so much to do tomorrow, I need to clean up my room some more (believe me when I say it's been a VERY slow process) and go to the gym... And then work. I look forward to working my two jobs so I can actually save money. How wonderful :-)

So Excited!

Okay, so to start off, I'm getting this phone by 3pm:

http://reviews.cnet.com/cell-phones/lg-env-touch-verizon/4505-6454_7-33665903.html

It's the LG enV Touch, and if you click on the link above you'll see it has an amazing review and it's going to be mine :-) :-) :-). The Goobermaphone is happily going to be gone, thank goodness! Time to move on to bigger and better things!

I had a wonderful day today with my friend Jess... We went to Parlee Farms for some strawberry picking, saw Transformers II at Chunky's, AND went to a Spinners game. Some pictures for your visual enjoyment:

One of my favorites of myself :-)

Cutie pieeee

Don't they look absolutely delicious? Way better than the icky strawberries you get at the grocery store.

My bear, Frankie, is my co-pilot in my Ford Focus. To me, he's my good luck charm who'll keep me safe from accidents. Don't judge me, it's obvous Jess doesn't :-P

I'm seriously obsessed with all things buffalo.

Cute, then wait for it, wait for it...

Hahaha not so cute :-)

Cute again.

It was a really good day for strawberry picking, very few people were there, and it was only misting enough to frizz our hair but keep the bugs away. So many yummy strawberries to eat, can't wait :-)

Transformers II was a great movie and I highly recommend seeing it. Warning, it is very long. Like 2 and a half hours. But it's good, and worth the time.

The Spinners game was a blast. It was an absolutely embarassing loss (3-0, with 5 errors on the Spinners part) but it's the beginning of the season and hey, it's a super minor league baseball team. Jess and I were giggling the entire time though.

I love hanging out with her, we both can be complete idiots around each other. Examples:

- I promised her I wouldn't tell people why I call her "Little C", but believe me it's absolutely hilarious.

- We were driving down to Chunky's in Pelham, and we were discussing gas tanks and where people fill theirs up, like which side. I was curious about where the Toyota's was located. So I attempt to stick my head out of the window at a red light. The window was up. I'm amazing, I know.

- When trying to take a picture of herself at the Spinners game, we get this gem:

Jess happily posed for her picture, but did not realize that the camera was backwards

<3

Today was a really good day, and with the friends I have, who I can happily yammer to about the mundane stuff in my life and see as often as I'd like, I'll be just fine :-)

Picture post is coming up next! I know you're excited that I'm actually updating for once. Or thrice. Or something.

Everything has changed.

I'm single now, and living with my dad again. Please, just for now, don't ask any questions just yet, I'm not ready for them. Still healing, and there's a lot of healing to do... I just really miss the family I built over these past almost 4 years, and I hope they know I love them dearly...

Now for some good.

I have a car now, I named her Lucy. 2004 Ford Focus (click for big):

I also got a new job, start on the 29th of June. At TDBanknorth, as a teller. That'll be my primary job while I get some extra money from Market Basket.

I got all Bs and Cs except for one A in my lab. Pretty good for seven classes. I wish I had taken on less, but now I know to just enjoy life and not let the pressures of life have you make rushed decisions. I just want to enjoy being a college student for now, I'm only 22.

I have amazing friends who, over the past few months, have only become more and more amazing. I don't have a best friend, nor do I want to have one, I'm just grateful to them all for their wonderful support through everything. I love them so, so, so very much.

At this point, I'm not really sure of what else to say, as this is just an update post. I'll update with more fun stuff soon, I have a lot of funny pictures and experiences to share :-)

I'll be okay, this is a new chapter in my life. Not one I ever wanted to see, but who really wants a life where everything is planned out and you know how it's going to end?

So much has happened, sorry about the lack of updates. I'll update by the end of next week, promise.

Updates!

So things, after everything going downhill for 3 weeks straight, are wonderful again.

- Corey agreed to let Spike live with us, which makes me overjoyously exuberantly happy. I missed her so much and was welling up everytime I ran to my dad's really quick to see her and take care of the basics. Kristin helped me move her in today, and she's been coping really well. I promised Corey I would keep the kitty fluff to a minimum, so I actually have to vacuum more than every three weeks. No more lazy for me :-P

- Thanks to my mom, I can go to school. I never thought I'd say this. After my dad's ridiculously high income screwed me over on the FAFSA (he doesn't help with my school at all), which is the Federal Application for Student Aid, or a required form that decides how much school you can afford, I called my mom. And she let me claim her instead... Thanks to her, my expected financial contribution went from $33,500 to $0. Even though we don't have a relationship and may never have one, I am eternally grateful to her for her help. 

- I paid my $200 deposit on a UMass Lowell dorm - I'm hoping to dorm during school, so I have a place where I can focus on my homework and have some space of my own. I'll definitely still be frequenting at Corey's now mind you, but it's nice to have a place where you can study and have some time for yourself. I'm nervous about not getting a dorm though - because of the circumstances I applied late; I'll be on the waiting list. We'll see what happens... I don't have a plan for if things go wrong yet....

- Corey and I are stable again, which is a relief for me. I really love him, and I understand that my family issues can be difficult to handle and adds extra baggage which can feel overwhelming, but he understands that I'm doing everything I can to get out of this awful situation.

- Everytime something good would happen, I'd find myself increasingly more upset with my dad. I'd get depressed and sad that so many wonderful people believed in me and wanted me to succeed, why didn't my dad? Today though, I realized that I expected too much out of my dad, he was not what I wanted him so badly to be, and never would be. My dad is not the type of person to offer stable comfort and support, he's more of the "white knight" type, that when you have a major crisis (or what he deems to be one), he will swoop in to save the day. He believes that the school of hard knocks and hard work can get you further than anyone helping you along, and this is where we fundamentally do not see eye to eye and never will. 

I believe a parent's job is to try and ensure than your children do better than yourself, so not only can they possibly avoid the struggles you've been through, but also that your child can teach the same to their own someday. I feel education is paramount to any decent job with decent wages that I may have held without a degree, life is not about money. I believe a parent's job is to be a role model for their children, and to push when they need to be pushed, offer guidance as needed, and to let them live their lives and make their own mistakes. 

I feel like my dad has always had a different philosophy - one of a more hands off, let them figure out everything on their own ideal. He told me before that he was disappointed that I quit Bruker to go back to school, and he disagreed with it wholeheartedly. He feels that a child should be able to support themselves without parental help after 18 - in this day and age, it is increasingly difficult to do so. With the high costs of school, the astronomical cost of car insurance, etc...

All I can do is accept him for who he is; this does not mean I need to have a relationship with him. I have barely spoken with him since our huge fight - short texts at the most. This is a tough time in my life, I need positive people who are rooting for me, and want me to succeed and believe in the path I am taking. I am not saying that people who disagree with some of the things I do are out of my life, but I cannot deal with toxicity and overall negativity at this point. I am driven and desperately want to get out of school and make something of myself, I refuse to let ANYBODY stop me.

My friends have been amazing to me, and they have helped me through this more than anyone else... They made me feel worth it, and kept me motivated through everything, thank you guys <3.

Ooooh, and by the way: last weekend Corey, Mark and I went for a short trip to San Francisco. Pictures on the next post!